Her birthday today

Today is her birthday.
I want to give her a call, but I am too embarrassed to do it from home. My parents would hear everything, the phone is right in the centre of the apartment. So I have to get out, to call from a public phone nearby.
I make up a reason, around noon, to go to a store, have to buy a ruler. I buy the ruler, go to the phone booth. Then hesitate. I am too afraid of doing it. Go back home again.

Why so afraid? What is the worst that can happen?
It is not logical... but I do have my irrational fears. What if she laughs at me? What it that news of my little affection for her travels to my friends and colleagues? They would laugh at me....

Back home I get angry, about myself.
I try again, another pretext to get out of the house.
Again standing at the phone booth. The heart sinks down. I do not have the guts to call her.

Back home again, I cannot believe it. What a looser.

Tonight in the evening I will see her. I will congratulate her to her birthday. And I will hug her. Maybe give her a kiss?

Not sure if I will really do this... but at least I can fantasize about it.