Confused

Now I do not know anymore what is going on.
The whole last week I have let myself go, until I did not know anymore in which direction I wanted to go and where I did belong to. Saturday evening was a huge waste. I almost had cried. Then I could only laugh about it. Now at the moment I do not know what is going on. I find everything quite funny, but where am I?

I just noticed that my handwriting is horrible. I should really try more to get some regularity into my handwriting, as I have succeeded so well during the meditation retreat in summer. When one tries, then one also gets much calmer.