Growing up

Yesterday... I am completely finished.
Everything went wrong. But apparently I have gotten a touch nucleus in me.
Everything just bounces off me. I was not even shaken.
No wonder, if you read the diary up to here.

But now for something completely different: my beard is growing since a few weeks! The eye brows are suddenly so thick and bushy.
Sometimes I do not recognize myself in the mirror.
But internally I feel not progressing at all. There is still that childish romanticism, that day dreaming etc. I cannot imagine that I shall shave soon.

Something I noticed: when I close an entry like this, I often write some encouraging words at the end, even though I was not keen on encouragement and superficiality. Also a few hours later that closing seems strange to me.
One can conclude from this that while writing I calm myself down so that I pluck up some courage. But this only lasts for a short time.

Tomorrow is another day. Another day which I have to live, which I am not allowed to skip, even though I would like that.

Well, take care.