Oh no! It cannot go on like this!
This zig-zag line this week!
Up and down! And of course again A!
Tuesday and Thursday everything was finished for me.
Monday and Wednesday were lucky days.
And today's Friday?
Already yesterday evening I had begun to calm myself down. Nothing yet was lost! On the contrary: things were as good as never before!
Despite this I hate him.
Today was nothing special. So, and now I put here down in writing what I have thought about yesterday evening:
I have set myself a goal.
I will try to reach this goal, despite all resistance.
For a love there are two needed.
One alone cannot love!
To be in love means to want to learn to love the other.
That is terribly difficult!
I know this throughout the whole year 1980.
When I try hard and do not stagnate in expectations, then it must succeed!
I am against the term "falling in love". Has somewhat a connotation of being lost.
So, that's it.
You have still everything ahead of you!
Good luck!
Visiting Bee
42 years ago
I am reading this now, 34 years later, and I am quite astonished what I have written here at young age. This is the very first time I use the word "love" in writing. Quite a step it must have been for me at that time - I was very worried that anyone could find this diary, read it, and have a good laugh at me. At that time, I could not cope well with being ridiculed - was very weak and sensitive. But also it is interesting that I am writing to myself there. And when I read this, I realise that I have not changed a bit. These are my thoughts, I am still the same. This is really frightening that after 34 year sI have learned - nothing.
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