Depressed

It is a pity, it is lamentable that I cannot write down all feelings hourly.
Because in between the single short texts, which I write here, there are huge gaps.
For example between the previous text and this here. I could have written something in the evening, then in the night, then Sunday night, the today morning, in the break, and just now.
But now I do not know where to start.
Fact is that the previous entry from 6.Dec is completely put into question. Today in the morning was "storm and urge". I would have liked to go into each classroom and take out the crucifixes and break each single one.

Maybe electric power is not so good.
A good rope would perhaps be better.
Never again in my whole life I will be in winter vacation with them!
Now, this winter, would be the last opportunity.
Gone! Missed it!
Then there is only the Easter hike, and the Pentecost journey.
I have to tell the parents that during the Pentecost holiday I want to go with the group, not with the parents.
Time is pressing too much.
But probably after this winter vacation I will have to write off everything anyway.
Gone.
Like so often.
I am used to new beginnings.
But I hate it.
I want a place where I can rest.
Finally be happy for once!
I will never succeed!